You need to get closure from your past hurts and baggage that you may have from past relationships. sometimes we can hold how we were mistreated or lead to believe a lie or worse from those past relationships for years. I am very happily married right now and I can gladly say that I have no regrets or heart strings attached to any of my past relationships. I don’t say this to brag, but it is something I am proud of. The reason is that I don’t have to bring my hurts, pain and junk from my past relationships into my marriage. One of the things that help me have this confidence is that I received closure from my past relationships and this helps me live more abundantly in my marriage today. You can also get closure from your past relationships and that will help you live more abundantly!
If you don’t get closure at the end of a relationship it can niggle away at you for years. The end of a relationship is a big deal, but there are lots of smaller unfinished deals that can also be niggling away. As you walk through your home what do you notice? Perhaps the picture that still needs to be hung on the wall, the laundry pile that needs to be folded, the tax return that still needs to be completed?
Things left undone on the ‘to do’ list in our mind take up mental and emotional energy that could be put to better use living abundantly! Just think about it the other way round – when you complete something, you feel good. When you finish a study assignment, read the last page of the book, or tuck the kids into bed at night after a long day of running around after them, the sense of accomplishment builds your self-esteem. Getting around to the things we’ve been putting off, is one way to release a whole heap of energy that you can use to live abundantly.
Forgiveness Is Key to Gaining Closure
One key to gaining closure in relationships, is to forgive. Carrying around past hurts and resentments drains us of present-day energy to enjoy abundance in life. Like being stuck in quicksand the more we wallow in bitterness, the more it consumes us. Nelson Mandela, winner of the Nobel Peace Prize says. “Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies”. Forgiveness is a gift to yourself.
To forgive, first you need to acknowledge that you are still angry. Next, be honest about the pain you felt. Admit to the fears and self-doubts that this caused you. Own up to any part that you played in letting the person mistreat you. Admit to yourself what you wanted from that person that you didn’t get. Try to put yourself in their shoes for a moment and understand why they didn’t or couldn’t give that to you. Finally after admitting these feelings, let go and forgive. It will bring closure and release a whole lot of energy for abundant life today.
Live with Passion and have Abundance in Life!
– Scott Epp
Scott is a Certified Professional Coach and the President of Abundance Coaching. Scott can help you get closure and live more abundantly. Scott’s passion is to help people discover what they value the most. He has a fun, enlightening and unique program which includes games and personal coaching around your Core Values.